It has been a long and painful weekend for me. Yesterday I awoke at 6 AM with a completely unexpected and very painful migraine. I don’t need to go into the details, as I seem to be writing about this a lot lately, but I was absolutely beside myself. I ended up needing to go to the ER, but could not drive myself there.
Lots of medication and things are still a bit foggy this afternoon. I went grocery shopping this morning – didn’t want to, but HAD to – and I believe that I was still a bit high from the barbituates. I walked through the store very carefully (no idea why I thought I could manage on my new high-heeled boots), trying not to let on that I had no idea what I was doing. Thankfully, I had a list with me and the store was relatively empty. The funny thing about these meds is that I am very aware that I get a high off them, but I don’t want anyone else to know, so I end up overcompensating. Sometimes I have a hard time processing what people are saying to me – I really have to listen and focus. I found myself doing this to the guy who was bagging my groceries. He would ask me a question and I would just repeat everything VERY loudly, “Yes! I found everything I was looking for!!!” “Yes, I would like my orange juice in a bag!”I got some strange looks, but really didn’t care.
Anyway, this post is not about my headache, but about the fact that I am trying to take baby steps to writing my novel.
I am running into a slight problem. I initially started a book a few months ago – a story that I have begun to sketch out. A few weeks ago, I realized that while I love this story idea, I felt like I was losing steam – I wasn’t feeling as attached to it (and my characters) as I was before. I now have a new subject and characters that are running through my head. I feel very close to this story – it just seems to resonate with me, and I know that I could really write from the heart. So what do I do? Do I abandon the original story idea (maybe put it to the side for another day)? I still love this story idea, but it’s losing its immediacy. I want to go with the original story because I’ve already started it, but this new idea is just so fresh in my mind and I think I could write it a lot more easily.
I intended to get something accomplished this weekend (relating to “the novel”), but it looks like not much is going to happen. At least I still have the desire to write.