Yesterday was the dreaded glucose screening to test for gestational diabetes. I arrived at the lab at 4:40 PM and was greeted by the tech that would be taking my blood. She leaves the room and comes back with a cold bottle of glucola. She gets out her pen and tells me that I have 5 minutes to drink the entire bottle. I open it, take a whiff, and start with a small sip. It actually tasted pretty good…exactly like Sunkist, which was one of my favorite drinks when I was a kid (in fact, I have some Diet Sunkist in my fridge at home for the occasional craving).

I take a few bigger sips and chat with the tech. Hmm…not bad. Then comes the comforting news. The tech tells me that if I throw up (which occasionally happens), I have to reschedule and do this all over again. Note to self – don’t throw up.

Here are the problems I soon ran into: 1) The “cocktail” is carbonated, so drinking that much of it (the equivalent of a can of pop) in 5 minutes makes you feel bloated, 2) I’m more of a “sipper” than a “chugger,” so my stomach felt like it was expanding at a very rapid rate, and 3) When you get half way through the drink, it’s downright disgusting. I’m one of those people who enjoys the first few gulps from a cold can of pop. Then I just like to pass it off to someone else. I’ve had my fill and that’s all I want. Not this time. I had to finish it.

With about 2 minutes left, I still had half of the bottle finish. I felt like a balloon that was filling with air. Images of Charlie and Grandpa Joe drinking the Fizzy Lifting Drink and floating up into the air were stuck in my head. Oh God. 30 seconds left. I wanted to just dump out the rest of the drink, but I knew I had to finish it. I closed my eyes and chugged the rest of it.

Now all I had to do was keep it down.

I left the lab and sat in the waiting area with my book. Fortunately, I was the only person there, so I hid in the back and nestled myself into a chair right next to the women’s restroom (you know, just in case). After about 5 minutes of deep breathing, I realized that I was going to be OK. The bloating went away and the baby started kicking up a storm – highly concentrated glucose will do that to a person.

One hour later, I had my blood taken and I left with a bandage around my right arm and a killer headache from the sugar.

I should find out the results soon, and I am hoping and praying that I pass this test. If I don’t, I have to drink another bottle of that stuff, which will contain twice as much glucose…and I have to have my blood taken every hour for 3 hours.

Oh yeah…if anyone is interested in a 12-pack of Diet Sunkist, just let me know. It’s free.

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