I am thinking of you. Just remember this too shall pass. I know that is just a cliche but at some point when he is a teenager you will think back and say at least I knew where he was and I knew he was safe. Hang in there Mommy. The best is yet to be. Just keep kissing, holding, loving, letting him scream and singing to him moments. And praying to God to help you cope. God will not let you down.