• I’m waiting for the painkillers to kick in so my migraine will go away.
  • I’m eating Goldfish crackers because the meds leave a funny taste in my mouth.
  • I’m daydreaming instead of working.
  • I’m grateful for Patrick taking Griffin into day care this morning – my head was hurting too much to deal with the daily battle of getting Griffin dressed and out the door.
  • I’m happy that it’s Friday – looking forward to playing with Griffin this weekend.
  • I’m proud that I’ve been keeping up with my writing goal.
  • I’m determined that I will finish this first draft by Griffin’s birthday (July 22) – only 21,969 more words.
  • I’m disgusted with the Chicago Cubs, yet I feel compelled to watch each game.
  • I hope my boss approves my request for a week of vacation at the end of July so I can play with Griffin and prepare for his 2nd b-day party
  • I’m grateful for our state-issued health insurance for Griffin. It has saved us hundreds of dollars so far…maybe even thousands once Griffin gets his ear surgery. In all honesty, based on our income, we pay NO premium, NO co-pay, and all of his generic meds are free. I can’t say enough how absolutely grateful I am to the state of Iowa.

I hate to keep saying this, but I have been swamped the past month. I’ve written more grants than I care to remember, we’re in the midst of celebrating our agency’s 40th anniversary (which includes a huge special event and fundraising), and like usual this time of year, we have our annual golf event.

The golf event is on Monday and that day can’t get here soon enough. It’s the build-up to that day that just about kills me each year. Imagine planning a wedding for 200 people every year, but without the fancy dress, dancing, and cake.

I’m looking forward to blogging more once the event is over.

I’m back again after another long blogging hiatus. Things have been hectic. Griffin got really sick again, this time with a case of double pneumonia. Poor baby missed an entire week of day care. Normally, Patrick and I would check our schedules and see who could stay home what day and then we’d just take turns taking a day off from work. Here’s the thing…something I have been avoiding writing about because, well, it’s embarrassing. We couldn’t take turns this time because only one of us is employed right now. That person is me.

I’m not even going to go on and on about why this is the case. Let’s just say the economy is to blame. Patrick has been collecting unemployment since July 2009. And before anyone jumps to any conclusions, Patrick has not been searching for a job that whole time. The unemployment benefits were supposed to be a temporary solution while his company got back on their feet. He made the decision a couple of months ago to actively search for a job, which he has been doing all day and all night since December. Also, I don’t want to hear about how he should have thought more about his family when he started on unemployment and looked for a job back then, because I’ve had the discussion with him numerous times. He was being loyal and didn’t want to leave them in a bind. Patrick’s a good guy, but look where that got him.

And to top it all off, we lost our health insurance at the end of February. I signed Patrick and myself up on my work plan, which means we’re down another $265 per month. If I signed up the whole family, I would have paid $530 per month – we just couldn’t afford that. So, I signed the boys up for HAWK-I services that are offered through the State of Iowa for uninsured children whose family meets specific income limits. Say what you want about Iowa, but they know how to take care of their children. The most we would pay for their health insurance would be $40 per month.

Patrick’s had some interviews and there is a really good job that’s basically waiting for him, but the position won’t open until summer. He’s going back to bartending, which I dread, but we don’t have many options at this point. His unemployment runs out in three months. Three months. That’s it. We are way behind in our mortgage (I get to field those calls just about every day). We can’t afford to pay it now with my salary and his unemployment checks. But in three months, we’ll only have my salary…and I work for a non-profit. You do the math.

My boss is on vacation, which means I get to do things like call Babies R Us and find out why the Graco stroller I ordered is on backorder again. The last time they just up and cancelled my order and when I called to complain that their web site said the item was back in-stock, I got a 10% discount and free shipping. However, I’ve yet to receive the stroller…only an e-mail telling me that it has been backordered again. Hmm.

Oh, Graco Ipo stroller. How I wish I had you on these beautiful summer days…


Alternate Title: It’s f’ing hot outside.

Alternate, Alternate Title: Why did I wear black pants to work?

I’ve been terribly uninspired lately. I’ve just been trying to get through the day-to-day stuff – work, bills, cleaning. And then there’s the other stuff that crops up. Griffin’s cold that turned into bronchitis. His baptism that’s coming up on Sunday (which means more cleaning, more money spent on food, and many, many trips to the store to find an appropriate outfit for him to wear).

I really thought things would calm down after the golf event at work was over and I was able to take some vacation time once again (this time last year I was saving up all of my time for maternity leave), but right now it feels just as hectic and I’m really disappointed. I was imagining taking walks with Griffin and going to the park. Instead, I come home from work and I’m exhausted and he’s still in that phase where he needs a bit of a late afternoon nap or he turns into a bit of a monster (a cute one, but a monster nonetheless). Balancing a baby’s needs with the schedule of a 12-year old is quite challenging and I struggle with it all the time – naps and baths vs Little League and science fairs. Sometimes it’s too much.

So I’m overwhelmed and therefore uninspired to write much.

I need to go to bed. I really, really need to go to bed. I have no idea what happened to this day. Last night at 7:30 PM I knew I was going to wake up with a migraine. And I did. I was irritable and really sleepy (way more than usual for both of those).

I ended up working from home today and I thought I had all kinds of time and before I knew it, the day was over. Well, technically, the day still isn’t over, but I’m not being technical.

So this is how my evening went:

Pick up Griffin from day care
Tiptoe through the house while he takes a much needed nap
Try to finish writing a grant while he takes a much needed nap
Wish I was taking a much needed nap instead of writing a grant
Cringe when I hear Griffin wake up from much needed, but short-lived nap
Feed Griffin
Play with Griffin
Wrestle Griffin (aka Diaper Change)
Stress out for a moment when he starts to gag on a Goldfish cracker
Take Griffin to Duncan’s baseball game
Realize we show up at the wrong diamond
Drive to the correct diamond and watch some of the game
Leave when Griffin gets fussy
Feed Griffin
Watch him crawl across the ceramic tile and lean against the front door
Hug him when he bangs his head into the front door and cries
Hand Griffin to Patrick when he walks in the door
Finish making dinner
Eat dinner by myself while watching the repeat of the Cubs game
Finish writing grant
Realize that I am not prepared for 7:30 AM marketing meeting
Find notes for marketing meeting
Skim notes and decide to fake it

In other news, I took some pictures of Griffin in his new monogrammed chair from Nana and Baba, but the batteries in my camera died and the cord to upload the pictures onto my computer is in my car and I’m all sorts of lazy right now and am not about to walk the 15 feet to the garage to get it. Lady busy, maybe later. There’s an off chance that my sister will read this and understand that last sentence…

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